You may remember that my boss has gotten completely weird about my pipe smoking--weird, that is, in that since I generally smoke no more than a bowl-and-a-quarter each day, with the quarter-bowl being smoked on the way to work, he never smells more than a quarter-bowl of smoke on me, if he smells anything at all. I mean, face it: that's hardly anything.
The man's had me go spray Febreze on myself multiple times over that stupid quarter-bowl of smoke. And to top matters off, NOBODY else I've asked in the place (and I am fairly sure I've asked everybody) says they can smell anything unusual! It is JUST HIM. Literally, JUST HIM.
I told him that recently when I got evaluated and he brought the stupid subject up again.
Well, this morning, a couple of us needed to get fitted for new respirators--just in case we get exposed to someone with, say, extensively drug-resistant tuberculosis, imported via illegal immigrants. Part of the process involved establishing a testing baseline, so when a scent was sprayed near us, we could tell if it was getting around the mask.
Either my boss was doing it wrong (wouldn't shock me) or I genuinely couldn't smell/taste a thing, and I will have to do the whole thing over with a different scent another day.
Five minutes later, it occurred to me that I had just been smoking, and maybe that had messed up the test. Subtle smells, you know.
AND MY BOSS SAID, "If I'd known you were smoking, we'd have waited fifteen minutes."
It took about ten minutes, I'm ashamed to say, before I realized that the man had just admitted in front of me and two witnesses that when it came down to it, HE COULDN'T SMELL SMOKE ON ME. The only time he "smells" smoke on me is when he has SEEN ME SMOKING THE PIPE.
Or so it seems to me. Got 'im. He's either lying again (and no, I wouldn't put it past him. He'll do anything to take me down a peg.), or he's self-deluded.
Oh, by the way, remember how I mentioned the other day that he can't hire and retain people?
Well, apparently yesterday, we had a perfectly qualified applicant come in. Right experience and everything.
Couldn't pay her. Guess where she's NOT going to take a job?
Aaaaaaand two people have quit on us within the last seven days. Down to ONE full-time office person, and her with less than two years of experience...
Crap. This could get ugly, and fast.